I like reading celebrity news. They make me feel normal. They make me feel better about myself. And at one point of my professional blogging career(awwww), I wrote and snarked about celebrities. These days I just do it for fun here in my blog, albeit occasionally, but more often in my Twitter and Facebook statuses. Oooh, you should see my facebook status about celebs. I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if my relatives feel embarrassed being associated with me. Anyhooo, I also do it in my Filipino celebrities blog but that’s a different world altogether.
Here are a few celebrity headline news that made me roll my eyes and chuckle at the same time. They’re from Popsugar and US Weekly.
Jennifer Aniston Brings Justin Theroux Along to an Appointment in LA Following Their Hawaiian Getaway
Coz you know, Justin couldn’t possibly just be with Jennifer in her appointment. Nah ah, Jen gosh darn brought him along. While she conveniently sucked on a lollipop after the appointment. Way to get the tabs’ tongue wagging like a trucking gps driving 100mph. HUH?
Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries Make Out in Pool on Honeymoon
Coz you know, the newlyweds are supposed to read a dictionary while on their honeymoon.
AnnaLynne McCord Goes for Bike Ride in Tiny White Bikini
You really didn’t expect this Hollywood starlet to wear clothing while going for a bike ride, no? I mean that would never make it to the headlines.
Newly Single Minka Kelly Stuns in Backless Dress on Charlie’s Angels Set.
Coz you know, when she was still dating Derek Jeter, she didn’t look stunning in a backless dress. No freaking way.
Newly Single Kristin Cavallari Dons Pink Tutu Dress
Coz yah know, being newly single is soooooooo related to the pink tutu dress.
Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries Holds Hands on Honeymoon Stroll
Coz you know, the newlyweds are supposed to throw knives at each other.
Kim Kardashian, Shirtless Kris Humphries Make Out on Honeymoon
Yes I know, another Kim and Kris headline. Seriously, WTH did they expect the honeymooners would do on their honeymoon? And what’s the relevance of his shirtless state?
LeAnn Rimes Slams Giuliana Rancic for Calling Her "a Little Thin"
I’m not dissing the title but just commenting on the article itself. Not really fond of Leann Rimes but I see why she would be mad at Giuliana calling her thin when the latter is probably skinnier than Leann anyway. Classic pot calling the kettle black.
Prince Harry Stays Dry and Dapper For a Charitable Event in London
OMG, thank goodness Prince Harry stayed dry for the event. It would be just so awful if the Prince attended the party all wet and dripping in water all over. (said in my California Valley Accent)
A Scruffy Jude Law Lunches in London as His Contagion Costars Promote Stateside How dare you Scruffy Jude Law. How can you be eating lunch in London while your Contagion co-stars are promoting the movie in the US. How Dare You!
Jennifer Aniston Hitches a Ride as She Gets Back to Work in All Black
Wait, are you sure Jennifer is wearing an all black ensemble to work? Let me check the picture again. Oh Wow, she really is. Thanks Popsugar. I couldn’t have known that if you didn’t point it out in your headline. Wheww!
Just so you don’t think I’m such a beeyotch for picking on celebrity news headlines, here’s one I REALLY REALLY LOVE.
Maroon 5′s Adam Levine Tells MTV: "F*** You!"
"The VMAs [are the] one day a year when MTV pretends to still care about music. I’m drawing a line in the sand. F–k you, VMAs.”
So freaking TRUE. When was the last time MTV actually played music videos? It’s reality crap all freaking day. The only time I get to see music videos is on You Tube and the MYX channel from my Filipino package from Direct TV.
I’m going to grab the M book from the encyclopedia shelf, go to page 75, read half of the page while I stir my pinto beans and neck bones soup cooking in the crock pot.